I havent been in for a while quite frankly - been having a good time on holiday with my family and boyfriend in Christchurch. Man I miss them already.

This month is going to be a busy one for me and Ive made a few "resolution" type goals.
The week before I went away I bumped into an old acqaintance at the mall and the first thing she said was "cripes Melody you've put on weight!!" How embarressing was the fact that she was right? Didnt stop me from being annoyed though - she couldve been a bit nicer about it. So Ive decided to not lose weight but get fit somehow. I rechon going to the gym just to lose weight doesnt work because a. we've all tried doing it and then b. when we reach our goal we stop and later we we put on the weight again we wonder what went wrong. I always think back to my last year at highschool where I went cycling for 2 hours four days a week. Why did I do that - well quite simply it was part of an assignment I had to do for PE. A bit like a training program which I had to write a big paper on at the end about the process and results.

I need to do something like that again. Bit harder outside of highschool though. I cant really be bothered in doing a paper in personal training. Ive got a secret though - Id really love to get into dancing. Dunno what kind. Only problem is money, time and lack of a partner. Mind you after writing that sentence I feel like saying screw those excuses. I'll look around.

The second goal is to give tithing a go. I know I should do it every week but come Sunday I usually dont have a lot of money anyway and/or I never actually carry cash on me. So Ive decided for two months Im going to give exactly 10% of everything I earn to church. I dont doubt that this is going to be hard. but I enjoy poverty most days and Ive just been on a bit of a spending spree while on holiday so I probably could do with some discipline. Im also doing it because I want to see and hear Gods response to what Im doing - souns a bit selfish I know but I just want to try it out. And Ive promised myself to take 10% out every payday and keep it safe til Sunday. Be interesting to see what blessings I may get in return.

My third goal is a bigger dillema to me than losing weight or tithing, and it sounds so stupid. Next year is my third and final year doing OT before I graduate and go out as a therapist. Only thing is - in order to register as an OT you need to have completed a portfolio. And mine is a mess. Ive got an entire year to sort up OT loose ends - and this is one of them. But I have no idea how to start. The majority of my screwups in my portfolio were done in 1st year (two years ago!!) I dont know how to fix up the mistakes I made as I wrote about stuff I no longer remember very well. Plus in 1st year I didnt have the faintest idea as to how to maintain a portfolio. And I feel really stupid about it as everyone else seems to have it sorted. Im ashamed to ask for help because of that and Im scared of asking for help because in my opinion, I dont think I could fare well with showing a lecturer my very messed up portfolio - I can imagine the look on their face - nor to a third year student as I know their all quite busy not to mention the most competitive bunch Ive ever studied with. I know this because when I did ask for help or direction I was bluntly turned down - they all hate sharing ideas unless its an enforced group paper.

Im getting frustrated just thinking about it.

I suppose theres not much to do except pray about it..
*Sigh

OOH Speaking of prayer, I had a big one answered the other day!
Sometimes I go to prayer meetings before church and we usually always pray for things we want at a community or national level and I remember someone praying for the haphazard north dunedin area (as you do) and about making couch burning illegal or something etc etc. I thought this was being prayed for from the wrong direction.
I personally dont see much "evilness" in couch burning as its been going on for decades. I voiced this and said that its not the couch burning thats the problem its the equation of:

alcohol (lets say woodstock and bourbon) + a random lighter + old smelly bacteria filled old couch

Burning said gross couch in the middle of a dunedin winter = fun

however

Those said burners with tummys of woodstock = extreme stupidity and increase in chance of ambulance needed.

The problem here of course is the alcohol. And WHO are the most frequent drinkers in north dunedin? Freshies of course (add a few 2nd years as well).
At this point I say out loud - GOD BLESS GEOFFREY PALMER!!

New Zealands ex prime minister who has convinced quite a few MPs of his new anti drinking ideas. Namely speaking raising the drinking age to 20.
20 years old is good. It cuts outs on 15-17 year olds getting their hands on alcohol from their 18 year old peers.
18-19 year olds however will probably still be able to get their hands on some speights as they'd probably know a 20 year old. But the cops would have the law on their side and those caught with alcohol would be punishable by the adult courts system not the youth court.

I am a christian and I drink. Im not ashamed of it either as Ive been taught by my mother to drink responsibly. So too did Jesus. Funny that.

But if these new law changes go through I think it would do a lot of good in preventing alcohol usage in teenagers. I think a lot of scarfies would agree with me that highschoolers are a pain in the butt to have in bars and with these changes couch burning would go back to the way it used to be - fun with marshmallows and "safer."
I hope this time round with a conservative government in power this might actually go through successfully.

Saiyonara!!

Shopping: Spiritual Warfare vs A need to keep women sane?

So I got paid quite a bit this week - mainly for doing time and a half over the easter weekend, though because my clocking in and out was a bit munted up last week so I suspect Im not getting all I deserve.
Well, anyway I felt I really needed a new jersey - preferably red as the one I currently have is falling apart at the seams because I wear it all the time. So on payday I went into town and headed into Shanton, which incidently is a fantastic store with trends that are consistently ok to wear. Compared to the horrendous things you see in Supre and Glassons these days. Plus they have sale racks out the back which have a lot of tops and jerseys priced 50% off. I didnt find a jersey but instead I found a really classy top with the empire waist I so dearly love that was marked 60% off. I got it for 15 bucks - what a bargain.

It looks a bit like this but its a black and white pattern made of chiffon:


Next I thought, hell, lets check out Glassons (while ignoring the cheap 80's designs) and see what they have and I found my red jersey! Well its more of a coat, but its made of the same material as a hoodie which it practically is except for the longer length. Its classy but you can also wear it with jeans and normal top underneath as I am right now, plus its really warm to wear. This coat was the other day $60 but when I went in it was sold to me for $40 - SWEET!!


The next thing I did still makes me feel a bit guilty as my boyfriend would call this irresponsible shopping, and he is quite right. But oh lord, when was the last time I had nice presentable clothes that made me look professionally respectable and NOT like a student living under the poverty line. I went into a store that really only attracts rich women over the age of 30. I went into Jaqui. E. Actually let me rephrase, first I stood outside the store for ten minutes staring at this awesomely classy top that was on display:



The one that I was drooling over, wasnt this colour but was more of a peachy white hue and it was displayed on a manequin with a simple black trousers. It looked stunning. Simplicity is what gets my eye - but it was obvious to me that this top was very good quality merino and was undoubtedley going to have an expensive price tag. I can see it now - Cody shaking his head in laughter thinking, oh shes so predictable... Im imagining him rolling his eyes while imagining me going "Oooh! look at that!!" and going off path.
Yeah yeah yeah, I went in. Asked the price. $90 (oucheee). And I ask those five magical words: "Can I try it on?" Heres Cody going "oh god, shes in too deep now!"
You know what my main thought was while trying on this top. Ooh mum is soo going to approve of this top! So much she'll wish she owned it! Theres a sinful thought - right there! God forgive me.
Well, the store owner said it was 20% off and if I applied for a free VIP card Id get a further 20% off. Well, why not? But me trying to be sensible - I still put it on layby as I had a lot of other things to pay for like board food and petrol - which I didnt think off til I left the shop. And altimately I came up a bit short. But dont worry - thats been fixed by the wonderful institution of studylink!

A few of my female friends think I did good - considering I got all these items marked down by a substantial amount. But I still feel slightly guilty as Im used to being in the mindspace that I dont deserve nice new clothes. But I think thats a psychological complex from my childhood and the way I was raised. And also, Ive taught myself that God provides all we need - and I got the very obvious prod that I didnt neccesarily need these things as it would encourage pride of myself and envy from others and would make me want more.

But at the end of the day, I think of the Patriarchs Abraham, Issac and Jacob. Men who were on Canaans millionaire list back in the day. They were so rich (riches given by god of course) that kings feared them. I think the lesson here is that I need to be even MORE mindful of how I spend not when Im poor but when Im "rich". And to remember that money is a frequent traveler (it always comes and goes). When we get a lot of money, we're so tempted to spend it in clothes etc which we believe we deserve for our hard work. Which I honestly believe is fair enough. But the clothes etc should ONLY be seen as a side bonus not as the goal for which the money is earnt.
I hope that doesnt sound to preachy. But Im always amazed at how God provides for me and that he does care about what we like.
Why last year on placement in Auckland I was nagged by my medical superiors to own a pair of nice shoes so clients would respect me more as a professional and not an inexperienced scarfie. They had a point, but I told them I couldnt afford any and that was that. Not that they didnt stop nagging me. I told my host mum about it and she said why dont you ask your Dad (she means God) for a pair. I thought that response was really rediculous, I mean to me poverty builds character and if old folks didnt respect me because of my appearance then I was quite happy to prove them wrong in my experience as an under graduate therapist.
But lo and behold, someone from church found out my predicament and handed me a new pair of shoes that they bought but then couldnt wear for some reason. Later that same day I went into Hannahs with my host family and the manager pulls out a pair of beautiful winter boots that fitted me perfectly (considering Ive got slightly mismatched feet) and cost the exact amount of money that I had spare in my wallet.
Coincidence? I think not!!

Alright I'm going to head off now, adios and God Bless!