Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Crazy Dreams

Theres something thats been on my mind for quite a while and only recently, have I actively decided I wanted to do this:
Write a book.

My logical self screams "Why should I even bother??!!"
My gut tells me its a fantastic idea.

I want to write a book that is part memoir part self help. As a Christian and a survivor of domestic abuse, I feel like I've got a story to tell and an urge to assist those out there who are trapped in abusive relationships and/or marriages. It has also come to my attention how much of a controversial topic this is in the church.
The man who abused my family and myself claimed to be a "God fearing man." He didnt go to church but boy did he use christian doctrine to condone what he did. And everyone outside of my family fell for it especially my own church family. When I bravely asked for my pastor for a place to stay he said no and said he didnt want to cause trouble with the man in question by "butting in on family matters." To this day I am appalled at the lack of support for my family which was all fuelled by fear.
I have a strong feeling that there are others out there who are experiencing this. I also want to aim this book at those who have commited their lives to Christ, but find that they are being persecuted by their spouses for their new choices. I want this book to help people identify abuse especially emotional abuse tactics that most of the time only victims recognise. I want in the book to have resources available to people who want help but dont know hwere to go.

And lastly, I am sick to death of the stigma that is attached to divorced women who want to go to church. People need to wake up to this and bring this discussion upfront. Im am sick of the ignorant and stupid ideas by people who have no experience whatsoever in the matter of abuse who say

"why dont they get out?", "why would any self respecting woman stay with a man like that?" "abuse only happens in poor neighborhoods.." blah blah blah.

Right now, my heart absolutely cries out for that lone beaten woman and for all those children in the past have been abused by family members but where the doctors were too late to save them.

And most of all, my heart cries out to all communities and its members who think "Its not my problem" or "I dont want to cause trouble" or "even though her husband beat her up for over 10 years shes commiting a big sin by divorcing him..."

I feel like this angry passion for this topic is boiling up within myself and I want to explode.

In order for this book to be a decent piece of work, I predict it will take me years to do this. Plus it wouldnt be too bad to have a few years as an occupational therapist under my belt. See the real effects of abuse first hand etc. But, by that stage my memory will be a bit fuzzy, so Im writing my memories of those painful events even now as I write this. I'll do some research in my next holidays though as Im currently quite busy with study.

Is this a crazy dream? Has anyone ever bought up this topic before? (abuse, divorce & church)


Just Be Real said...

Dear one, 'no it is not a crazy idea' to want to write. I even thought about it too. If you feel the Lord has placed it on your heart to write, then do so. If not, He will show you one way or the other. The desire will leave or something else will come. You need to venture out. I am sure you have a lot to offer, especially with "abuse."

Blessings dear one....

Patricia Singleton said...

I agree with Just Be Real. The desire to write about your experiences and ways to help others is never a crazy idea. I feel so sad that no one helped you or listened to your story when you asked for help. As an incest survivor, that was always my biggest fear---that no one would believe me or that they would say it was all my fault. That is why I was 38 years old before I told anybody except for my husband and sister about the incest.

Today, I haven't written a book but I do write about my experiences and my recovery work on my blog.